


You're My Sanctuary

by yoongilluminati



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Apocalypse, Gay Male Character, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Sexual Tension, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-02 09:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20694449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoongilluminati/pseuds/yoongilluminati
Summary: Byun Baekhyun is sure he's doomed to spend the rest of the apocalypse alone, and he's starting to accept it when he gets accepted to join a group of survivors and falls head over heels with an exceptionally tall man with big ears.





	1. Chapter One

It has been a year and a half since the outbreak, and four days since Byun Baekhyun has seen a survivor or even military personnel. He doesn’t know the name of the town he was in, anything that could have given him a hint had been ruined or removed, same as every town his weak body had stumbled through in the past year and a half. Ever since it got out that the military was behind the outbreak, the patrols had been doing their best to get rid of anything that Baekhyun, or any survivor, could find familiar. 

In all the apocalypse movies Baekhyun had grown up seeing, the government had sanctuaries for those who survived, a place where they could live together and make a new community. The reality for him was if he was spotted, he was dead. He’d seen it with his own eyes and the first time made him sick, now it was just as much a part of life as the mouth-foaming creatures that he also hid from. They weren’t slow and dumb like movies always depicted them to be. No, they were smart, they could see and smell and hear and  _ run _ .

Baekhyun was not a survivalist, he would have never imagined himself as one of those adrenaline junkies on a reality tv show, dropped off in the middle of nowhere and forced to survive. But now, that’s the only choice as to who he could be. Minus the camera crew, immediate medical help upon an emergency, and the promise of life. No, his life could end at any second and nobody would be there to remember it. Just him. It was probably always just going to be him.

He finds himself twisting the ring on his left ring finger. The band was simple, lined with small diamonds. There was a flip in his stomach when his eyes landed on it and he bit down on the inside of his lip as he kept walking, shoving his hands in his pockets to get the subject out of his brain. His life before didn’t matter anymore, this was his life now and he couldn’t let himself feel emotions that would get in the way of his survival. He couldn’t let himself be naive… not anymore.

Still, he couldn’t help it when he laid down at night in his makeshift shelters. He couldn’t help how his mind drifted to the days where he felt safe, secure… loved. He had a good job, a small but cozy apartment with his fiance, his bills were paid and his friends and family were happy. He was happy. Sometimes it made him feel warm, helped him drift to sleep. Other times he felt as if he might empty the contents of his stomach right then and there. The past was the past, and he had to learn to accept that he would never have that life again.

His possessions were left behind, all he had was a pistol strapped to his hip and a backpack slung over his shoulder. The pack was light, only holding some spare fabric in case he needed bandages and a couple of food items he could find in homes as he passed. Scavenging was not his forte either, he would admit. He was scared to go into homes, scared to find one of those… things, waiting for him inside. It was by pure luck he had made it as long as he had, and he knew it.

The town was quiet, the sunset was coming and he knew he was going to have to find shelter soon before it was too dark to see properly. The creatures weren’t loud, they didn’t gargle and groan and bump into things the way movies and books always depicted them. No, they were natural-born hunters. They could sneak, stalk their prey. The reminder sent a chill straight down Baekhyun’s spine and he wondered if there would ever be a moment he didn’t feel like he had eyes on him.

A small gas station store could be spotted across the street and so far it was the most promising thing Baekhyun had stumbled across. If he was lucky there might be something edible left in there, and he could block himself off behind the cashier’s counter so he could get some sleep. It had been a learning curve, to sleep and feel rested when he had no blankets or pillows to keep him comfortable but over a year in and Baekhyun could probably sleep upside down if he needed to. If you didn’t adapt, you didn’t survive. That was just how the world had become.

He pushed the door to the small corner store and peered in. He was about to deem it clear when he heard a small groan, an intelligible grumble. He froze in his tracks, eyes scanning the small place frantically. It looked scavenged, shelves left empty, objects scattered messily along the floor. He couldn’t just stand there, a deer in the headlights, so he slowly closed the door behind him. He pushed a nearby ice cream freezer in front of it, so the door couldn’t be pushed open from the outside and he scanned the area again. It was quiet now, and he started to wonder if maybe he had imagined the noise from before.

He’s brought back to reality when he hears it again. Only, it seems more like words this time. Like someone begging for help. Baekhyun gulped as he slowly began to move down the isles. The infected didn’t speak coherently, they couldn’t form words like this, but his hand slowly slid down to his pistol anyway. He didn’t know if the owner of the voice had been bitten recently and he didn’t want to take the chance of being unprepared.

The last row of shelving had been completely knocked over and he gasped at the sight of a man, his leg pinned under the heavy metal. He looked clean, sane. A lot better off than Baekhyun did and so he feared for a second that he might be part of the military. His combed hair and shaved face did Baekhyun’s matted hair and scruffy chin no comparison. The man’s eyes met him and he took a small step back in fear, raising his pistol.

“Are you military?” It was the first thing Baekhyun had said in quite some time. Even when he had seen survivors they normally just nodded towards each other, only sometimes exchanging advice or items. For the most part, people either stuck to their groups or themselves. Friendship wasn’t something people were worried about when their lives were on the line the way they were. The man's head shook slowly, his face twisting in pain as he tried to shift his body.

“Please help me.” The man begged, pushing at the shelving that lay crushing his leg. Baekhyun snapped out of his thoughts and holstered the pistol, rushing over to try and help push the metal up and out of the way. The other male looked stronger than him, but the little extra bit of strength Baekhyun was able to supply was enough for the other to pull his leg out. It was bloody, very bloody and Baekhyun unzipped his pack quickly, removing as much fabric as he could to press into the male’s wound.

“Hold that there I’m going to look for alcohol.” Baekhyun jumped up, adrenaline pumping as he gives the male another quick look. He appears younger, Baekhyun notes, not by too much but his features somehow seem sharper, more mature than Baekhyun’s own more feline ones. He hurries towards the coolers lining the wall, searching for the alcohol. A lot of it had been scavenged already but there were still a few bottles of different things left abandoned. One was a clear glass bottle of vodka and Baekhyun snatched it, carrying it back to where the other male lay on the floor, holding the fabric to the torn skin.

“I’m Jongin.” The man says as Baekhyun kneels beside him, pulling the fabric away to get a better look.

“Baekhyun.” The older mutters back focused hard on trying to get a good look at the wound. He let his fingers grip along Jongin’s calf, surprisingly it didn’t feel broken as far as Baekhyun could tell and that was a relief, he wasn’t sure he would have the proper knowledge to set a bone if necessary. “This is gonna burn a shit ton Jongin so I suggest you try your best not to yell.”

The bottle cap was screwed off and Baekhyun doused some of the extra fabric with the alcohol. Rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide would have been a safer solution at the moment but a wound like this was going to get infected if it was left to itself. He had to clear the bacteria no matter what. The man’s body went rigid when the wet fabric came into contact with his skin but he did a good job at remaining mostly quiet as the wound was delicately cleaned. Baekhyun sat back with a big sigh and picked the bottle vodka up, taking a swig from it straight into his mouth. Vodka was not his choice alcohol, but he was willing to drink anything now that his adrenaline was crashing and reality set back in.

“Thank you.” Jongin finally managed to say, though he couldn’t properly move his leg still. “I tripped over something and tried to grab it to stabilize myself and it just came tumbling down with me.” Baekhyun could hear the frustration in the other’s voice and he scrunches his nose at the mental picture.

“How long have you been under there?” Baekhyun asked, passing the bottle to the other who took a grateful swig. He knew it couldn’t have been long, all the blood had been fresh.

“An hour maybe, thank God not days. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t come here.” A thought seem to suddenly cross Jongin’s mind and he looks around as if examining the building. “Are you alone?”

Baekhyun nods, his fingers subconsciously fiddling with the ring on his finger again. “What about you?”

“Technically yeah. I mean just right now. I live with others but I came out to look for some candy.” He snorts and shakes his head, the reasoning making Baekhyun let out a soft chuckle of his own. “I know it sounds dumb but my boyfriend really wanted some and I just wanted to surprise him. He’s probably worried sick about me by now.”

The word boyfriend makes Baekhyun’s stomach flip the same as it previously had. A mixture of nausea and hope. It was nice to hear that there were people still in love despite the world around them, but it similarly made him feel more alone than he had been when he was by himself. “You guys have a base? Are there many of you?”

  
  


Jongin hesitates to answer but Baekhyun isn’t surprised. Sticking to yourself was the easiest way to stay safe, everyone knew that. “We live in a hospital. Just certain wings of it but we have it all quarantined. There's maybe 20 people or so there.” The younger finally answers, taking another glance at his leg. “You might’ve saved my life... So you can come back with me if you’d like. We don’t take people in often but since you’re all alone, I don’t know if I would feel comfortable leaving you here.”

Baekhyun is sure his eyes have noticeably lit up. Just half an hour ago he was reminding himself how alone he would be forever and now he had an offer to have a group. A place to stay where he didn’t have to fear where he would be sleeping the next night. He was slightly wary, not every survivor was friendly, and he had to remind himself not to be gullible but he didn’t know how he could ever turn down something like this. “I’d love to. I’ll help with anything you guys need I just… I would really appreciate some damn human contact.”

“The way you felt my leg… are you a nurse or something? We could really use a medic.” Jongin sounds hopeful but the question sends a jolt of nausea into Baekhyun’s stomach again, his head shaking.

He glanced down at the ring on his hand and slowly felt over the little diamonds, sighing softly. “No um.. my fiance was a nurse he used to teach me basic survival stuff or interesting facts whenever he could…” There was a pause. Baekhyun hadn’t really talked about Jinho since the outbreak began and the incident happened. All he could really muster out was a soft, “He didn’t make it.”

Jongin didn’t dare push for more information and just apologized. Baekhyun nodded and leaned back against the tile floor, his pack under his head for some kind of comfort. “Is the hospital far? We shouldn’t travel this late, we wouldn’t be able to see them coming up to us.”

“It’s a couple of miles maybe, we can leave at sunrise.” Jongin takes his place near the shelf, his leg elevated on top of it now to keep the bleeding from coming back. “We have to figure out how exactly I’m going to get there but...”

Baekhyun nodded, not sure if the other could even see it but the more his adrenaline faded and the alcohol settled in his empty stomach, sleep could not be ignored. His drifted off with hope on his mind for the first time in a long time.

Baekhyun woke up to a pained voice cursing out into the silence. He sat up so fast the room seemed to spin and found Jongin limping around the store, shoving whatever he could into his pack. He could tell the younger couldn’t really put weight on his leg and Baekhyun wondered how long it was going to take them to go a couple of miles to the hospital with Jongin in this condition.

Jongin notices him sitting up and tosses him a granola bar from a nearby shelf. “I found a few of these this morning go ahead and eat something before we leave. Do you have water?”

Baekhyun nods, tearing the wrapper open in excitement before cramming a large amount of the bar in his mouth as once, chewing and closing his eyes as he took in the flavor. He’d been eating a lot of canned vegetables and foods over the past few months and the change of consistency and flavor was nice. His thoughts are torn away by another string of curses.

“There’s no fucking candy bars. All this and I can’t even bring anything good back for Soo.” The younger slumps back down to the floor, leaning into the drink coolers. Baekhyun grabs his pack, unzipping it and digging around a little bit before pulling out a single chocolate bar. It was broken and probably stuck to the wrapper from melting and rehardening. He had been saving it for a special occasion, but he figured other candy would come. He tossed it into Jongin’s lap and for the first time saw the younger male break into a smile. “Oh my God, Baekhyun you have no idea what this stupid chocolate means to me.”

“Take it as my thank you for sheltering me. It’s just been me for over a year now so... the idea of having others around is a big relief.” He zips his bag back up, taking in a deep breath. He could see from the way Jongin looked at the small candy that this ‘Soo’ was really special to him and seeing such raw positive emotion made things almost feel normal, just for a moment. “The fact that you went scavenging just to get him something he loves… I’m just glad I found you like I did. You deserve to be able to give that to him.”

They set off as soon as Baekhyun was done eating. It was going to be a long few hours to walk the couple miles towards the hospital and they had to be extra aware of their surroundings and Jongin wasn’t going to be able to run from any oncoming threats. Jongin had his own weapon, a shotgun he used currently as a cane, pressing it to the ground carefully as they walked.

“Do you guys have supplies there?” Baekhyun asks suddenly, breaking the silence between them. “Like food and stuff? How do you guys supply for so many people?”

“We have some. Ammo and food. Plenty of medical supplies seeming as the building was probably functional when the outbreak happened. We have power too.” Jongin explains, watching as Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “The roof is lined with solar panels, we’re able to light the floors that we do use but there's no internet or anything. The signal for those type of things has been long lost.”

Baekhyun didn’t care about the internet. The idea of having lights and a proper heater during the upcoming winter was good enough for him. “What about water?”

“Oh, we have running water from a tank system. We have to fill the tanks with water from the river when we run out but for now, we’ve been able to portion what the hospital already had backed away.” Jongin nods. It explained why he looked so clean. Baekhyun suddenly felt more aware of his state around Jongin. His head had stopped itching two months after everything went to shit, but he still felt disgusted when he hadn’t been able to find a body of water to wash himself up in for a while. He used to shave with but he had traded the razor with another survivor a couple of weeks ago for a couple of bottles of water so scruff was starting to cover his face in certain areas.

It made him think back to the luxuries he used to have that he didn’t even realize could be gone in the blink of an eye. His daily showers, his specialty shaving cream for sensitive skin. It was all silly now, all a waste of time and money. The most luxurious thing he had now was the clothes on his back. His dirty jeans and oversized t-shirt managing to still fit onto his boney frame. His once toned stomach had become caved in, thighs thinned out under the rough denim.

They walked mostly in silence for hours, pausing occasionally when they thought they heard a noise, scanning their surroundings with their guns drawn. Baekhyun wasn’t even sure he could pull the trigger of his, but he was sure Jongin could. If he was brave enough to leave his base alone for candy, he probably wasn’t carrying his gun around as a false sense of protection.

Finally, they came around a corner and Baekhyun could see the hospital sign, large on the side of the road. The name had been scratched out and graffitied on but the medical symbol couldn’t be denied. Behind it was a multi-story building, surrounded by makeshift fencing of wood and chain link. A wooden sign was resting against the fence, no trespassing. A gun was drawn on underneath it, a warning to those who dare try to raid the sanctuary.

Jongin’s pace quickened as much as his leg allowed, glancing to make sure Baekhyun was still following with a half sincere smile. “Welcome home.”

  
  



	2. Chapter Two

They pushed past the gate and were instantly met by two men with guns, who lowered their weapons quickly when they saw Jongin, one of them turning without saying a word before running into the main hospital entrance. The other turned towards Baekhyun with a suspicious look in his eyes. “Who are you?”

“It’s okay, Yixing.” Jongin’s voice is tired as he finally has to stand completely still on his leg. “This is Baekhyun he found me and bandaged my leg for me.”

Before Yixing could get another word out he heard a loud gasp and looked up to see a short, doe-eyed man running towards them. By the way that Jongin handed his gun off and started limping forward, arms opening, he could tell this had to be his boyfriend. The way Jongin affectionately said his name and took him in his arms just confirmed it even more. Baekhyun didn’t know how to feel. Yes, it was charming to see love despite the world ending around him, but it was bittersweet to him. His mind couldn’t help to drift to how he used to feel that way and he felt almost nauseous as the memories started to flood his brain. 

“What the fuck.” The words pulled Baekhyun from his train of thought and he glanced over to see Kyungsoo and Jongin, now separated from each other as Kyungsoo held the candy bar in his hand, the other pointing accusingly at his boyfriend. “If you dare risk your life for something stupid again. Fuck Jongin. I… I genuinely appreciate the candy but I just want you to be not dead, you know? Let's get you into the infirmary.”

Baekhyun suddenly feels very awkward as Kyungsoo helps Jongin towards the building. He isn’t sure if he is supposed to follow. He suddenly felt so out of his element that he couldn’t help but start to question if this was even a good idea after all. He was going to be the odd one out now, everyone here seemed to already be well acquainted with each other. 

“You can go up the stairs on the left to the second floor.” He blinked in confusion before realizing it was the man, Yixing, who was talking to him. He didn’t mean to stare blankly but his brain was being slow to take in the information he was given. Yixing repeated it. “Go up the stairs on the left to the second floor. Find the nurses' station usually someone is hanging out there and they can figure out a room for you. There should be signs.”

Baekhyun bowed, whispering a soft thanks before scurrying off nervously. He didn’t want to take any more of the male’s time. He already felt like he was intruding just being in the enclosed area. The hospital wasn’t as large as some of the ones in the larger cities like Seoul usually were, but it was still at least 5 stories tall and notably wide of a building. The motion sensor doors didn’t work and he had to open them manually with his hands. Even though they had power according to Jongin, he figured they had disabled the doors so that the infected couldn’t just come waltzing into the building if they managed to get past the gates. There wasn’t anyone on the main floor as far as he could see and it looked pretty abandoned, a few chairs scattered around but mostly it was barren and cold. Remembering his instructions he had been given, he looked towards the left for the stairwell and found a closed metal door with a sign that depicted stairs screwed onto it. 

He didn’t know what to do honestly, there still was maybe the opportunity to turn around and run out of the building. He had just started to accept his destiny of being alone forever, and then all of a sudden he was given the chance to completely change that around. With a big sigh, he yanked the handle open and started to climb up the level of stairs until he was on the second floor, opening the door and stepping into a long hallway. There was a handmade sign with an arrow pointing to the right and so he followed it, stepping slowly, cautiously even. Jongin had said that the building was quarantined off in the areas that everyone was living in but after being cautious for so long he couldn’t stop himself from still feeling that way. As he came down the hallway some more he could finally see the nurses' desk that Yixing had mentioned, there were a couple of people near it, all chatting privately but he decided to directly approach the two men sitting behind the desk.

One of the men looked older, yet somehow youthful at the same time. He had feline-like eyes and Baekhyun couldn’t help but find him pretty yet masculine all at the same time. The other male sent a chill down Baekhyun that he hadn’t felt in a while. He was resting his long legs up on the desk, his fluffy hair a mop on top of his head and his eyes were making Baekhyun feel extremely conscious about his appearance all of the sudden. 

“Uh.. hello. I came back with Jongin he uh- Well no Yixing said that I could talk to someone here about getting a room.” He tripped over his words, not sure who he was even directing the sentence towards. The feline male spoke. 

His voice was friendly, it soothed Baekhyun a little. “I’m Minseok I can figure out a room for you lemme just... Find the notebook we write everything in.” He dipped down to start digging through some stuff under the desk. Baekhyun’s eyes drifted towards the taller handsome male and found him still staring at him with the same look in his eyes and he had to stop himself from squeaking as he looked back towards Minseok, who know was opening up a notebook. “Okay, I just need to take your name and a list of any personal belongings you’re bringing in. It keeps everyone safe from theft, you know? Don’t want to have people fighting over things they’ve scavenged privately. Though we do share most things here.”

Baekhyun didn’t mind at all, sitting his pack on the desk in front of him and opening it up to peer in. After using all that fabric on Jongin’s leg it was looking sadly empty. “Uh… I have a pencil.” He tried to ignore the way the tall man snickered. “I used most of my stuff on Jongin I was going to go scavenging when I found him so it’s just this pencil, a couple of water bottles..” He looked up to see Minseok shaking his head. 

“We’re not worried about that, just anything more private. Maybe clothes? Personal belongings?” He had scribbled down the pencil anyway, Baekhyun noticed and he peeked into his bag again before glancing at his left hand. 

“Uh… I have my engagement ring if that counts.” Baekhyun noted and Minseok wrote it down without hesitation. “And my pistol. That’s it other than the clothes on my back.”

“Okay one pencil, one pistol, one ring.” Minseok’s voice quieted for a second, looking like he was hesitating to ask something.

“He got infected and I had to… yeah… so it’s just me moving in.” Baekhyun spits out before he could hear the question. He already knew it was going to be asked, it was understandable. The male just wanted to know if he should expect someone else coming into the hospital. For the first time, he noticed the taller man looking away from him, messing with his jeans in a distracted manner. 

“Okay Baekhyun. I’m going to put you in room 216 it’s right next door to Chanyeol here so he can get up and show you the right direction.” Minseok spoke slightly absentmindedly, shoving the notebook away somewhere once again. “We have bags somewhere that the hospital staff gave out to patients. It has a razor and shampoo and some other self-care items in it. I can try and get you some clothes too just wait right here.” And then Minseok was up and gone. 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he should make conversation with the other man behind the desk, or maybe introduce himself to the three girls gossiping and giggling beside him. It felt odd… pre-apocalyptic even, to hear socializing in such a positive way. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but he could already feel his body relaxing in the situation. “Have you eaten?” 

He didn’t expect the question, nor that deep yet smooth voice that came with it. His eyes flashed back to the man, Chanyeol, if he remembered right. Their eyes met again. “Jongin gave me a granola bar.” He replied, nervously shifting under the curious eyes of the other. Without any other words, Chanyeol was opening a drawer and sliding something across the counter. It was a small bag of chips and Baekhyun grabbed it with a huge grin.

“They’re stale just so you know.” Chanyeol smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “But they’re still pretty good nonetheless. That’s uh… my secret stash so if you could not tell anyone else about I would appreciate it.”

“I can’t give you anything in return-” Baekhyun started to reach to open his bag again, just to make sure there wasn’t anything to trade. “I mean I have my pencil if you want it but-”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

Baekhyun couldn’t even reply before Minseok was walking back up, some clothes folded in his arms with a small clear bag on top of them. “Here you go Baekhyun. There is a shower in your room. Just try not to make it long okay? Usually, showers are on Tuesdays and Fridays only. We have to conserve the water we have.” 

Baekhyun nodded in understanding and bowed before taking the clothes, thanking the male for his kindness before following Chanyeol, who was now standing and making his way around the nurses' desk to show Baekhyun where his room was. His height was on full display now and Baekhyun knew he was going to have to look up if they were ever going to make standing eye contact. The room they arrived at was a basic patient bedroom but it looked like a luxury hotel to Baekhyun. 

“I’m in 217 if you need anything…” Chanyeol gestured to the next room over. “I’m not always there but I’m usually around here somewhere. We only have the second floor, the main floor, the cafeteria, basement and the roof quarantined so far, I won’t be that hard to find. Even if you just want to chat… I know it can be very lonely out there.”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how to take the offer. He didn’t know if the tall male was just being kind, or if Baekhyun was reading too far into it when he felt like there was a slight bit of flirting involved. It had been so long he wasn’t really sure what to think of things like that anymore. Though he would have to politely turn the man down if this was flirting. He was engaged after all.  _ Except you’re not _ . His brain reminded him, and he hoped Chanyeol wouldn’t question the way his nose scrunched. “Thank you… I’m going to shower now.” Baekhyun bowed before entering the room and shutting the door behind him. 

Never in the past year had he expected to enjoy the feeling of a nice hot shower. He did try to keep it short. He would just shave once he was out of the shower, but his hair couldn’t be ignored any longer. He was going to have to trim it with the little scissors in his bag. He figured they were for removing hospital bands or opening food packages but his hair was so matted and long in areas that he couldn’t get it perfect even after shampooing twice. He wished so hard to be able to just stay there under the water, let the heat soothe his tired muscles, but he wasn’t going to start his stay by just blatantly ignoring the rules he had just been given minutes ago. 

He stepped out of the shower and dried himself as best he could before putting on the clothes he had been given. They were a simple t-shirt and gym shorts, but it was so nice to be in something clean for the first time in a long time that he would have probably worn a hospital gown if it was all that they had been able to offer. He’d only been able to change clothes a handful of times in the past year and they had all been somewhat dirtied in some way shape or form by the time he found them. 

He did his best to trim his hair until it looked decent, not too short but the matting was at least all cut off so he didn't have to worry about it anymore. Once he came out of the bathroom, his eyes drifted towards the bed and he was dragging himself there without even realizing it. His body felt like it was melting into the mattress. Maybe at a certain point in his life, he would have felt unhappy with the comfort level of a hospital bed but right now it was the softest thing in the world. It was the middle of the day and he didn’t want to start this new situation with a fucked sleeping schedule but he didn’t have any control over the way his eyes just fell shut, his body and mind truly relaxing. 

He was startled awake by a knock on his door, the sun had set some as far as he could see from his window and he was flying out of bed. Was he in trouble for napping? Did he miss anything important? What if it was the infected at his door? He stopped to take a deep breath. The infected didn’t know how to knock on doors, at least from what he was aware. Now he was just getting ridiculous. Slowly he turned the handle, his face peeking out to meet the doe eyes of Kyungsoo, who he hadn’t properly met before. 

“I’m sorry,” are the first words out of Baekhyun’s mouth as he opened the door a bit more. “I fell asleep without even realizing it.”

Kyungsoo’s head tilted and he let out a soft laugh. “You’re allowed to nap. I just came to thank you… I was really worried about Jongin I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t come back. I’m still pissed at him for thinking it was a good idea but… I’m just glad you helped bring him home.”

Baekhyun wasn’t expecting it. I mean, a thank you was very nice and it was obvious now that maybe he should have expected someone to say it but still, he didn’t feel like he did something that other people wouldn’t have done. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t need to thank me. If anything I’m more appreciative that Jongin suggested I come back here with him.”

“Dinner is about to be ready at the cafeteria if you’re hungry.” The words made Baekhyun’s stomach feel like it might growl and he nodded. He wondered what exactly a meal here consisted of. Baekhyun was sure they weren’t eating a full course meal with dessert but almost anything was better than what he had been eating, especially over the last week or so as his supplies started to go out again. “Let’s walk down there together then.”

Baekhyun followed behind Kyungsoo, still taking in the look of the hospital. It was pretty modern for a smaller hospital, probably recently renovated by the looks of it. They had to take the staircase back down to the cafeteria, which was located on the first floor. There were maybe about 15 people in the cafeteria already when they arrived. “Do we take shifts making food? How does this all work?”

“Oh Jihyo does most of the cooking,” Kyungsoo guided him towards where a few people were standing. “It’s not really… too much cooking... So she volunteered. It’s always just some random mixture of whatever we have found while scavenging.” He handed Baekhyun a plate and walked up to the food. 

Today it looked like they were going to have a salad and Baekhyun wondered if they maybe had a garden. He had this whole backyard turned into a garden before the outbreak, it was one of his favorite hobbies. He scooped some onto his plate, copying the amount Kyungsoo had grabbed so that he wasn’t taking more than his fair share. 

There was no dressing, something that usually would have completely made Baekhyun avoid a salad, but it sounded so good to have real food that he didn’t mind. There was a stack of water bottles beside the counter, and he grabbed one before following Kyungsoo to one of the tables. 

Jongin was there, speaking quietly to Chanyeol who was sitting across from him. Kyungsoo took the spot next to Jongin naturally, so Baekhyun was left to quietly take the one next to Chanyeol. He mostly focused on the salad vs actually holding a conversation with the other men, starving from how little he had been eating. He hoped he would gain back some of his weight over time. The others looked decently healthy compared to him. Though he did look a lot better now that he was shaved and washed up. 

Kyungsoo and Jongin were quickly lost in conversation with each other, and Baekhyun felt guilty but a bit awkward to just be sitting there in silence beside Chanyeol, who honestly seemed like he couldn’t care less about eating in silence. Still, Baekhyun didn’t want to be rude and took a drink of water before turning to him. “How long have you been here?”

Chanyeol is mid-bite, and he politely covers his mouth to swallow before answering. “About two months, I stumbled across and nicely ignored the no trespassing sign because I was shot.” He says it so casually Baekhyun wasn’t expecting it, though what could he have been expecting? The world had gone to complete shit. 

“Shot?!” He looks around and then lowers his voice, “By the military?”

“Yeah, just in my arm.” He lifts his sleeve to show the scar. “I must have gone quite a distance on adrenaline because they never have stumbled upon the hospital. Most of the people here were worried that I had been followed and would lead them here, luckily because I was bleeding Jongdae let me in.” He gestures to a boy that is sitting at a different table alone with Minseok. Baekhyun tries to make a mental note to remember his name. “We have a girl here named Sana who was training to be a nurse when the apocalypse happened so she did her best to fix me up and now here I am.”

It was kind of crazy, everyone here had some kind of story and Baekhyun would never know them all. He figured that’s how the world was before too, everyone had things going on, everything was so much deeper than it seemed when just walking down the street. In a sense, it all felt more personal now, a few hours ago Baekhyun would have never given a second thought to how Chanyeol had gotten here and now he was wondering how many times he had almost lost his life in this year and a half alone. Every person in that cafeteria had fought to survive what could only be considered the end of the world for who knows how long before being taken into the hospital. It made him feel sick to his stomach, luckily he had already finished eating. 

“I think I.. I’m going to go lay down.” Baekhyun’s voice comes out weaker than he’s expecting it to, and he wonders if he looks as bad as he suddenly feels. Chanyeol stands and it throws him off, almost like it’s making the room spin.

“I’ll walk back with you, you don’t look good.” Well, at least that answered his question. It took him a couple of seconds before he felt like standing, and when he did he had to reach out to grab at the taller male’s arm for balance. “You’re probably sick from eating so much in one setting after going so long without it, the same thing happened to me.”

Chanyeol’s arm was around his shoulder to steady him, putting their plates in a plastic tub before guiding him back towards the stairs. His body was warm and Baekhyun felt weird being so close to someone for the first time in so ridiculously long. He had helped Jongin here and there when it seemed like he might lose his balance, but that felt so much different than this did. Chanyeol didn’t let him go until he was on his bed, helping him to get his legs up and watching him as he curled into a ball. 

“I’m sorry this is embarrassing I just feel so nauseous.” Baekhyun whined into his hands, trying his best to not completely rid his dinner in front of the other. 

“Like I said it happened to me, I couldn’t even keep it down long enough to make it to the room.”

Something flipped in Baekhyun like a switch and at the mental image of the other throwing up, he was practically flying his way to the bathroom, bent over the toilet as his dinner exited his stomach. Chanyeol was too kind of his own good Baekhyun decided as the giant male squatted down beside him, rubbing his back as he gagged. Even Jinho couldn’t manage to sit next to a hungover Baekhyun. The memory of his fiance made him throw up again, tears spilling down his cheeks from a mixture of anxiety and discomfort. He didn’t know how long he spent bent over the toilet but when he was done Chanyeol was still there. “I’m so sorry.” This was the first time in so long that he had felt true embarrassment, he had almost forgotten how terrible of a feeling it was. 

“Stop apologizing, can you get up?” Chanyeol helped Baekhyun stand, reaching to flush the toilet for him. “You brush your teeth and I’m going to run back down to get you another water bottle.” 

When Chanyeol said run he must have really meant it, because he was already back when Baekhyun had just finished up and was waddling towards his bed, collapsing on it. “Thank you… I’m just gonna... Sleep now.” His ears felt warm as the taller man hovered beside his bed, he had only been here a few hours and he’d made an absolute fool out himself. In front of someone rather attractive nonetheless. Chanyeol’s deep voice broke his thoughts. 

“Don’t hesitate to come to get me okay- I’m serious.” Baekhyun knew he was. The look in his eyes couldn’t hide anything. He was gone before Baekhyun could even thank him. 


	3. Chapter Three

Living in the hospital was like living in a dream, it was such a feeling of community that he had never imagined being able to experience again. His emotions about it were all over the place. He still knew what was going on outside, still knew how horrible the world was if he were to step past the hospital walls. He was still scared to truly feel safe even after two months of being in his new home, he still felt like he was being watched and hunted as he walked down the quarantined halls. Despite the place being a sanctuary, everyone still had jobs, everyone still had to come with the reality of what was going on around them, this wasn’t a vacation.

Baekhyun wasn’t the best at scavenging, and he had stayed open with that, so he was never really asked to leave to look for supplies. Instead, he did a lot of kitchen work with Jihyo, who was a kind woman that did most of the cooking. After meals, Baekhyun would fill a small basin of water and clean the plates.

He tried to socialize himself as best he could while he had the opportunity, afraid to connect to people but also wanting to feel that connection while he could in case he ever ended up back on the outside, alone yet again. He quickly became close to Kyungsoo and Minseok, they were able to make him laugh and pull him out of the dark places he slipped into. They would sit at the nurses' desk during the days and laugh about different things. It made him feel less alone for the first time in a very long time. Like he finally had friends again.

Then there was Chanyeol. He didn’t know what to categorize Chanyeol as in his brain. He wanted to say that Chanyeol was his best friend. That he meant more to him than anyone else in the hospital, but he wasn’t ready for that level of care towards someone yet. Not when he could lose Chanyeol like he had lost everyone he cared for before. Chanyeol treated Baekhyun in ways that Kyungsoo and Minseok did not. He walked Baekhyun to every meal and back. When Chanyeol went scavenging he would always try to find chips or candy to sneak back into Baekhyun’s room at night for them to share. He cared for Baekhyun in ways that Baekhyun had forgotten you could care for someone. It scared him, and he denied that it was anything more than the way he cared for his other friends. But Chanyeol didn’t treat the others like this, only Baekhyun. He pushed the thought out of his brain.

They talked a lot about life before the outbreak on the nights that they would split snacks. Chanyeol had been a park ranger, Baekhyun figured that’s why he was so good at scavenging. He went out on almost every scavenging trip there was because he always managed to bring something good back. Baekhyun told stories of how he worked at a daycare and how odd it felt for him to never see kids around anymore. They usually couldn’t run fast enough. Another thought he tried not to let pop into his brain often.

Chanyeol would tell Baekhyun about all of the adventures he would go on, his day-long hikes through the mountains and all the wildlife he came across. Baekhyun's favorite thing was when Chanyeol would tell him about the plants he encountered. Chanyeol didn’t know a ton about plants, but he tried his best because he knew the smaller male enjoyed it. Baekhyun missed his garden, he talked about it often. He talked about how when he was anxious it was something he could go and do and get his mind off of all the bad things around him. He wished he had something like that now. He wondered if the other thought it was stupid, but he never said anything of the sort. He always listened with this look in his eyes, like he was genuinely interested in every single word. For the first time in a long time, Baekhyun felt special.

There were still things they didn’t know about each other. Chanyeol had never even gotten close to bringing up Jinho. Baekhyun knew that he knew, he had been sitting there when the ring came up into conversation with Minseok upon his arrival. He knew that Baekhyun had been engaged, yet he never dared to ask. Baekhyun both appreciated it and had questions of his own because of it. He wondered what Chanyeol’s love life was before the world had gone to shit. Did he like men or women? Did he have a lover too? Did he want one? The last question made him a little sick.

Similar to Baekhyun, Chanyeol had a ring too. He didn’t wear it on his hand, it was strung from a chain around his neck, the ring usually sitting over his shirts against his chest. It was a more simple band with small engraved patterns. Baekhyun wondered if it meant the same as his ring did, or if it was a simple piece of jewelry the other just enjoyed. He didn’t realize when he would stare at it, the thoughts swirling around in his mind again. He felt like he was beginning to truly know Chanyeol, that they were closer than he had been with anyone in so long, and yet that ring held so much mystery for him. It was a piece of the other that he wondered if he was ever going to get to know about.

“You’re staring, Baek.” The deep voice startled him. His eyes lifted from the ring to Chanyeol’s face. His cheeks were full of trail mix, chewing it before speaking again. “Were you looking at my ring?” Baekhyun was not a sneaky person, it was one of the many reasons why he failed at scavenging and was even worse at keeping secrets. He knew the taller male had caught him staring before, but he had never vocalized that fact.

“Is it the same as mine?” The question came out a bit harsher and faster than he had intended it too, and he wondered if he even worded it in a way that Chanyeol would understand. It wasn’t his business what the ring stood for, or why Chanyeol had it. He didn’t feel like he had the right to ask and he started to stutter out an apology before he could even get an answer.

“No, it’s fine.” Chanyeol chuckled, reaching up to feel along the band with his fingers. “It’s not an engagement ring, I was single when the outbreak happened. This is from my parents, they gave it to me when I graduated high school but it was a little too small for my hand so I put it on a chain. I’ve just never taken it off.”

Baekhyun felt stupid. Why had he cared so much if it was an engagement ring or not? “Sorry, I know that it’s not easy for you to talk about your family.” He wondered if his voice sounded as guilty as he felt. Chanyeol always steered away from the conversation of his parents. Baekhyun understood, his family only came up in conversation on very rare occasions themselves. He didn’t know what had happened to them, and he probably never would.

“Yours is an engagement ring right?” Chanyeol’s voice was soft like he wasn’t entirely sure if it was a question he wanted to ask. Baekhyun understood, and he couldn’t be mad even if it stung a little to talk about it. Honestly, he had brought this upon himself. He felt bad but he couldn’t speak his reply, just nodding his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t ready. Maybe he never would be.

There was silence. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as he expected. They shared the rest of the trail mix, both of their minds preoccupied with memories of the past. A human flaw, Baekhyun figured, sadness could not be denied. He just appreciated that Chanyeol wasn’t pushing him for any more information than he was willing to give.

“I’m going to go to bed.” Chanyeol spoke first, and Baekhyun just nodded yet again. Was he angry? He didn’t have a reason to be. Chanyeol didn’t even seem like the type to get mad. He watched the taller hesitate at the door before walking out, and he thought about that for the rest of the night.

\---

Chanyeol waited on him for breakfast in the morning just like he always had. Baekhyun felt relieved that everything seemed back to normal. They ate two meals a day, breakfast and dinner. Three had been taking up too much food too fast, they only had to eat to survive. They were usually not specifically breakfast or dinner foods, just whatever could be scavenged and cooked. This morning however he was greeted with the sight of omelets, a mixture of eggs and ham and onion. Nothing they ever ate would have been Baekhyun’s first choice of meal, but his mouth watered at everything that had been set out in the cafeteria since his arrival.

“We got eggs?” He exclaimed, grabbing a plate and rushing forward to get some food. Chanyeol was right behind him as always. The ham and onion were recycled from before, sometimes they got to enjoy meat after a successful hunt. It was something everyone looked forward too. However, they hadn’t had eggs once in the past two months of him being there.

“Jongin and I scavenged them yesterday, we found a farm about a mile or two northwest of here. I was so tired I forgot to mention it.” He scooped Baekhyun’s omelet up before getting his own. Baekhyun wondered if that was something friends normally did for each other, Chanyeol had been doing it every meal for the past month. Baekhyun figured he would scoop Kyungsoo or Minseok’s food if they asked him to, but they were more than capable to do it themselves just like Baekhyun and he wasn’t sure if that was something that would have crossed his mind if Chanyeol hadn’t begun to do that for him. He never asked, he just did it.

“A farm?” His voice was hopeful, mind picturing all of the different plants and animals that must have been there once. He wondered what it must’ve looked like now. “Is there-”

“No.” Chanyeol cut him off as they approached their usual table. His voice sounded bitter, disappointed. “All the crops were ruined. There were a few chickens in a coop and they looked cared for, so we suppose others are also watching after the farm. We left a couple of water bottles and bandages as a trade when we took the eggs.”

Other survivors. He knew he should be thrilled about the chickens, but all he could feel was anxiety. Generally, the main worries would be the infected and the military, but he had his fair share of learning that the evilness of mankind was still very much alive during an apocalypse. Not everybody was friendly, and he didn’t know how someone would respond if they found two men stealing their eggs, even if they did try to leave a barter behind. He hoped they would never go back there.

“We’re planning on going back now and then for eggs.”

Great. Baekhyun gave him a look of disapproval but the other shrugged it off. Chanyeol would always put feeding the group above his safety, Baekhyun knew that, and he secretly admired it even if he would never outwardly approve. His brain went back to thinking about the crops and his garden. “I wish there had been seeds there.”

“I look for seeds for you every time I scavenge.” Chanyeol replied coolly as if it wasn’t something that made Baekhyun’s heart feel like it skipped a beat, his stomach churning a little. It was exactly the thoughtful type of thing that Chanyeol would do for just about anybody, but it made him feel special again.

\---

It took over his mind for days. He kept trying to figure out why he couldn’t get over it, couldn’t stop thinking about it. Chanyeol thought about Baekhyun’s wants when he went out scavenging. He went out of his way to try and find something to make the other happy even if it meant risking his life a little more than usual. Would he do that for the others? Would Baekhyun do that for Kyungsoo or Minseok? He wanted to say yes, of course, but he wasn’t certain. In a normal world situation, he would love to do special things to make his friends smile, to make them feel like they were cherished. But would he put his life on the line for that? Would he do like Jongin and nearly die to get Kyungsoo candy? His brain said yes but his heart strongly said no.

Chanyeol was doing for him as Jongin did for Kyungsoo. Like… a lover. He had to stop him before he got himself hurt. Baekhyun felt that overwhelming sense of guilt again. He didn’t want to hurt Chanyeol’s feelings and he also worried that maybe he wasn’t reading into it accurately and Chanyeol was just doing this as a friend, that he just cared for his friends more than Baekyun could understand. Either way, he had to talk to him before all this speculation drove him insane.

Every night after dinner Chanyeol would follow Baekhyun into his room without question. Some nights they had snacks, but others they would just sit on the floor and talk, tell stories, laugh. One night they had even gotten drunk and fallen asleep on the cold tile. It made both of them feel alive. This night was initially no different. Chanyeol followed Baekhyun in and they took their usual places on the floor under the window.

“Chanyeol I want to talk to you about something.” Baekhyun started, his voice came out fainter than usual and he mentally cursed himself for being such a wimp. He wasn’t scolding the taller, he wasn’t going to tell him to fuck off or leave him alone. Yet he was scared. Chanyeol didn’t answer vocally, just tilted his head and quietly waited for Baekhyun to continue. “Why do you go out of your way to find seeds for me?”

There was an extended silence and he could see on Chanyeol’s face that he was thinking it over, really pondering about it instead of saying some bullshit excuse. Perhaps he knew that Baekhyun wasn’t going to take ‘because you’re my friend’ for an answer. “I want you to be happy.”

He didn’t know if that was any better of an answer. “Chanyeol, you’re doing what Jongin was doing for Soo on the night that I met him. I don’t want you to get hurt for me. I don’t want you to go out of the way when you’re scavenging for the good of everyone else to find me some stupid seeds. I don’t even have a garden Chanyeol. Put yourself in my shoes. Imagine me dying to get you seeds for a garden you don’t even have. Plus I… I don’t want you to feel for me what Jongin feels for Kyungsoo because I am not ready for that.” The words sounded harsh, but they were exactly what he felt, and he knew being honest was the best way to go.

“Baekhyun.” His name sounded different. For the first time it was laced with an emotion he wasn’t used to from the other. Frustration? Disappointment? This was the second night in a row he was going to feel nervous about their friendship when Chanyeol left his room. “I know that you’re not ready for something any deeper than what we have and I respect that. I want you to be happy and I want you to have a garden because I care for you and it’s what you deserve. I don’t have ulterior motives.” He sounded defensive, upset. These emotions Baekhyun could pinpoint.

“Chanyeol I’m sorry. I just wouldn’t go out of my way for Kyungsoo or Minseok when it meant risking my life for something as insignificant as seeds or candy.” Baekhyun leaned down, settling his face in his hands as he tried to take a deep breath. “God if you died doing something like that for me, I wouldn’t know how to keep living. I can’t lose you too Chanyeol, I can’t...”

Chanyeol’s arms were encompassing him in no time. It was the first time they had physically been this close. It was the first time anyone had physically been this close to him in so long and he wanted to melt into it, wanted to stay there forever and enjoy the feeling of warmth and care. Instead, he pulled away, tears welling up in his eyes as he pulled their bodies apart, head shaking.

Jinho had been the last one to hold him like that, the memory was so fond yet so distant. It had been the night before the outbreak and they had been snuggling together in bed, a feeling of safety and warmth Baekhyun hadn’t felt since. Until just a moment ago. His head felt like it was spinning, he felt sick again. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes and look at Chanyeol right now. 

“Please leave.”

“What? Baekhyun I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Chanyeol please.” Baekhyun’s voice cracked, not daring to look in Chanyeol’s direction as he stood and made his way to the door, exiting the room without another word.

Baekhyun cried himself to sleep that night. Just like he cried himself to sleep the night he had lost Jinho. The feeling was the same. Once again he felt alone.


	4. Chapter Four

He did his best not to show it on the outside, but mentally Baekhyun was a mess. Chanyeol didn’t spend even a fourth of the time he usually did with Baekhyun anymore. He was never in his room, never at the nurses’ station. He missed breakfasts on many days. Baekhyun ate with his other friends. Minseok and Kyungsoo had been right by his side the second he sat down alone for the first time for breakfast. Jongdae and Jongin followed suit. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate what they were doing for him, refusing to let him be alone. But being around couples didn’t exactly make him feel better either.

He just wanted Chanyeol. He wanted his best friend back and he wanted to stay up late snacking on different foods while laughing and just being happy. He felt like a part of him had gone missing. He wanted to apologize, but he rarely ever saw the taller male around the hospital.

On days that Chanyeol wasn’t mysteriously missing, he was scavenging. Yet he never brought anything back to Baekhyun like he used to. It wasn’t greed, he didn’t want Chanyeol to bring him anything, but he missed the feeling of someone looking out for him. Though he supposed maybe that’s what he had gotten mad at Chanyeol for in the end. He regretted the whole thing, wished he could go back and never say the things that he had said, never act so ungrateful. He was so unbelievably grateful for everything Chanyeol had done for him and he repaid him with a slap to his face.

“I keep trying to apologize to him but every time I go to find him he’s never around.” He was on the floor of his room again, but this time he was joined by Minseok. Jongdae had gone out with Chanyeol and a couple of others to scavenge, and the two were having a makeshift sleepover.

“Maybe he just needs space away from you before he can let himself try and figure out what he wants.” Minseok always looked out things in ways Baekhyun never would. Kyungsoo too, the three of them completed each other in the most platonically beautiful way. He wondered if they would have crossed paths in their past life. He figured this was still their past life, and they had crossed paths now for a reason.

“Well he’s dumb and he needs to let me apologize.” This is why he needed Minseok’s logically thinking for the night. He wasn’t the best at piecing things together when he was emotional.

“Baekhyun listen. If he doesn’t talk to you in a week I will ask Soo to personally threaten him. Is that what you want to hear?” This made Baekhyun snort, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t know what he wanted other than to sit on the tile with Chanyeol and eat and act as if nothing had happened. He wanted someone to walk him to meals and wait for him to wash the dishes so that he also didn’t have to walk back alone.

Maybe that was it. He felt alone again. Despite being surrounded by friends who were doing their best to show that they cared for him and that they weren’t going to leave him, he still felt alone in a way that nobody except for Chanyeol could change. He didn’t know how to handle that. Chanyeol was a piece of him now, no matter how he wanted to look at it. No matter if he wanted to admit to himself or his friends. He wasn’t full without the tall male in his life, without those stupidly big ears listening to him go on and on about plants and gardening and how he hated the pretzels in the trail mix.

Jongdae and Chanyeol didn’t come back from scavenging for three days, and he thought that he had missed Chanyeol when he was ignoring him, but it didn’t compare to when he wasn’t even there to steal glances at. He feared every day that they wouldn’t come back. But they did.

The next morning they enjoyed ham and eggs again. He worried so much about any of them going back to the farm and he wanted to do as he usually would and playfully scold Chanyeol for going back knowing that Baekhyun didn’t like the idea. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even bring himself to try and go up to apologize anymore. Minseok was probably right, he should leave Chanyeol alone until he was ready.

That lasted a couple of days. He supposed he had done the best he could, but it was to a point where he just couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take it anymore, acting like this wasn’t hurting him like it was. He had to confront Chanyeol. He came up with a plan to wake up early enough that he could follow Chanyeol, see where he was going in the mornings, what he was doing when he was trying to just stay as far away from Baekhyun as possible.

It was early when he woke up, the sun had risen some but it wasn’t very high yet, and he could hear movement in the room over. He tried to be as quiet as he could, dressing and waiting until he heard Chanyeol’s door closed. Footsteps faded some and he slowly opened his door, peeking out just in time to see the taller turn a corner. And so the chase began.

Baekhyun moved slow, pistol in his hand as his paranoia never let him go anywhere without it, but no shoes on his feet. His socked feet slid against the floor, not wanting Chanyeol to hear his footsteps from behind. He stayed back far enough to see each move Chanyeol made yet still hide behind corners if need be. So much for not being sneaky. He supposed he had the ability if it was truly necessary.

Chanyeol made his way to the staircase and began to climb, confusing Baekhyun more than giving him answers. The only thing up there was the rooftop, everything else hadn’t been quarantined yet. He followed, now needing more than ever to know what was going on.

They kept climbing, and he started to decide that they really must have been going to the rooftop before suddenly Chanyeol stopped. He froze and squatted down a little, hoping the other hadn’t heard him. He had been trying to go pretty fast as Chanyeol’s longer legs and better stamina made it much easier for him to climb the stairwell. Chanyeol pressed his ear to the door of the fourth floor and pulled his gun before stepping in.

Curiosity killed the cat, Baekhyun thought, but that didn’t stop him from holding up his weapon and approaching the door, opening it as quietly as he could. He could hear rustling, and his own heart pounding in his ears. He’d only shot is pistol once. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to bring himself to pull the trigger again. Still, he moved deeper. The level looked like it was mostly patient beds again, and the more he walked the louder the rustling got. It was coming from a janitor's closet. He prayed it was Chanyeol.

The door suddenly came open and he found himself practically flying behind a corner, peeking out to see Chanyeol step out with a bottle of cleaning solution. Why was this man risking his life over weird trivial shit all the time? Before the thought could finish running through Baekhyun’s mind, Chanyeol was walking deeper down the hospital floor. There was a loud noise and suddenly from one of the patient bedrooms a zombie, running straight at Chanyeol from the side, slamming him into the wall. Chanyeol fumbled for his gun, but Baekhyun already had his drawn.

All the hesitation from before was gone, he didn’t need to question anymore if he was going to be too scared to pull the trigger ever again. It took him no time between realizing what was going on and standing up for him to aim and shoot, twice. Everything went black after, he could hear someone saying his name, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t think. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, and then suddenly he had lost all state of consciousness.

\---

Baekhyun woke up in his room. At least he figured it was, they all looked the same after all. It was bright, and his eyes were taking him a moment to adjust. He couldn’t remember very clearly everything that had gone down. His hand felt warm and heavy, he looked towards it to see another hand holding it, the connected arm dipped down towards the floor and he leaned to peek over the edge to see Chanyeol laying against the tile. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and slow.

There wasn’t a word or a phrase that could describe exactly what Baekhyun was feeling at that moment. It was a mixture of relief and worry and something that he knew had to do with the way their fingers stayed laced together even as they had been sleeping. He slowly let go, cursing when Chanyeol’s arm falls against the tile, his big eyes opening in sudden confusion. Baekhyun was still silently peering at him over the side of the bed.

“Baekhyun- oh my god you scared the shit out of me.” Chanyeol was standing in no time. Baekhyun’s arms crossed over his chest.

“Me?! You ignore me for a week but then you get to come here and hold my hand and act as if I am the one who has done something upsetting here? What the hell were you doing up there Chanyeol?” Baekhyun’s tone was bitter, hurt. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. He loved feeling like someone cared for him in this way again, but he was so sure it could be lost just as easily as it had been the week prior.

“Ignoring you? I’ve been working on a project I needed a spray bottle I-” Chanyeol sat down on the side of the bed. “You shot the infected, you saved me. But you started having a really bad panic attack and you blacked out, I had to carry you back down here. Sana looked at you but she said you were just in a state of shock. It’s been almost 24 hours.”

Baekhyun felt like if he was given one more piece of information to process his brain was going to explode. He suddenly remembered the sound of the pistol, his legs buckling underneath him, the images of Jinho bleeding out on their kitchen floor. He began to cry without even realizing it. This time when Chanyeol hugged him he didn’t care, he pressed into it, sobbing and letting everything out that he had been holding in for so long.

Baekhyun didn’t know how long it took before he could speak again, but Chanyeol didn’t pull away until he was ready. He still sat on the edge of the bed, watching him with curious eyes yet not daring to ask anything, wanting Baekhyun only to say what he was comfortable with.

“I’ve only ever shot my pistol once and it… was to shoot Jinho, my fiance.” His voice was just loud enough for the two of them to hear. “I came home as soon as I heard what was going on. The front door was open. We kept a pistol in a side table drawer by the couch and I grabbed it just in case. It was Jinho’s but I needed something to protect myself. I heard movement in the kitchen so I approached it. I could only see him from behind at first. He was bent over in the pantry, digging through it so intensely. I asked him what he was doing and when he turned around…”

Chanyeol reached out to squeeze his hand. He had to take a couple of deep breaths as he replayed the scene in his head. “It wasn’t him. I mean, it was but… but it wasn’t. It had already gotten to him and he started to run at me and I was so scared I didn’t know what to do and I shot him. It was a lucky shot I got his forehead and I sat there for two fucking days Chanyeol I didn’ t know what to do I didn’t know where to go. Four hours before I had kissed him goodbye to go to work and then everything just changed so fast. I’ve managed not to shoot the pistol since. I must have just had a really bad flashback when I pulled the trigger earlier.”

They sat in another extended silence like they had a couple of weeks ago when they spoke about their rings. This one wasn’t uncomfortable either, but Baekhyun had so many questions, so many things he needed to say, he couldn’t let it last. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

“Baekhyun I promise I haven’t… I’m so sorry I know that it was really bad timing.” Chanyeol curses under his breath. “I should have talked to you I should have told you I was just going to be busy but then a couple of days in I realized that you were upset with me and I should just leave you alone. I realize now how fucking stupid that was.”

“I thought you hated me…”

“Baekhyun I don’t think I could ever hate you.” There's a nervous laugh, and then a sigh. “Are you able to walk? I want to show you something. It’s what I’ve been working on.”

It takes a couple of seconds of standing still and regaining balance but he’s soon able to walk, following close behind Chanyeol. The halls are pretty empty and since Chanyeol said it had been around 24 hours he figured that everyone was probably in the cafeteria eating breakfast. They started to climb the stairs again, and Baekhyun wondered if this time they were going to go to the rooftop.

He guessed right. The sun felt so good on his skin, the breeze cool but not enough to make him shiver. It was pretty large, a few different machines for the hospital lining along the roof near a helipad. Chanyeol guided him along the roof until they came upon a small seating area. There were a couple of chairs, an umbrella. He walked closer, noticing a weirdly shaped outline of bricks, a long rectangle. The closer he got he realized that it was filled with dirt.

Confusion shifted over his face and he turned back to see a smiling Chanyeol. “What is this?”

“It’s your garden.” Chanyeol had to stop saying things so casually when they were going to make Baekhyun weak at the knees.

“You made me a garden?!” He moved closer to the dirt now, inspecting it, picking up the bottle of cleaning solution that was now filled with water. So that’s why Chanyeol had gone into the janitor’s closet. He didn’t realize he was crying until Chanyeol was wiping his tears.

“I still don’t have seeds. But now I have a reason to look yes? You said it was dumb for me to look for seeds when you don’t even have a garden well… now you do.” Chanyeol nodded, staring at the garden with a proud smile.

That wasn’t exactly where Baekhyun had been going with that talk, but he couldn’t bring himself to be upset with that kind of logic. Chanyeol had to scavenge bricks, carry them up the stairs, along with dirt and put it all together and God if anybody had ever done anything as thoughtful for him he couldn’t remember it. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done. He supposed it would be okay for Chanyeol to look for seeds, as long as he was careful.

“It’s perfect Chanyeol, thank you. I love it so so much I promise I will take really good care of it.” Baekhyun was almost whispering, still in shock from what he was looking at. A garden. His garden.

“I’m going on a big scavenging trip in a couple of days, checking out some unexplored land. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for anything you can plant.” The words made Baekhyun’s anxiety come right back. He had already gone a week without Chanyeol in his life and now he was going to have to do it again?

“You’re leaving me?”

The question caused a small silence and his cheeks and ears heated up as he started to realize the way he had worded it. He tried to correct himself, “You… you’re going to leave again?”

“Yes. For about a week, we’re heading straight south for three days and back for three days. Before we’ve only gone a mile out that direction. But I promise I will come back as fast as I can. I missed you.” Chanyeol said everything with so much more confidence than Baekhyun did. He wished he could be that cool, wished he could speak his emotions freely.

“I missed you too dumbass…” He was worried, but he didn’t want to voice it and embarrass himself any more than he already had. He would just have to put up with it.

Chanyeol was back now and that was already more than he could ask for.


	5. Chapter Five

He still didn’t know what title to put on Chanyeol when it came to the taller male’s place in his life, but they were closer now than they had ever been. Baekhyun didn’t flinch away from his touches anymore, he didn’t fear what it was like to be this close to someone again. They spent every night together again, lounging on the floor and laughing, talking more openly about their pasts than they ever had before.

Baekhyun learned how Chanyeol had cut his hair in the bathroom at school when he was 7 and did such a bad job that his parents had to give him a buzz cut so it would all grow out evenly. He told Chanyeol about the way he had run away from home at 13 when he realized he liked men, afraid his parents would disown him. They never did, they loved him. He felt like he knew so much more about Chanyeol than he ever imagined knowing. He felt like he had known him forever.

Kyungsoo and Minseok always gave him knowing glances, teased him during the day when they would hang out at the nurses’ station. They called him names like lover boy and told him that he should just go ahead and get a move on before Chanyeol and he died of old age. He told them over and over he didn’t think of Chanyeol that way. Chanyeol and he were best friends of some sort, someone he just wanted to hang out with all the time. Someone who made his heart skip a beat with simple sentences. Normal best friend shit.

Kyungsoo and Minseok were both in strong happy relationships, and while Baekhyun loved seeing them thriving and happy, he just wasn’t ready for anything like that. He loved when they all sat at a large table together for a meal and he could see just how much the two couples cared for each other. He felt weird when he realized Chanyeol and he acted the same way. He didn’t think he would ever be ready for something like that. Despite his doubt, his fingers fiddled with his ring less and less. His mind became more and more clouded with thoughts of Chanyeol.

Chanyeol and he were nothing like the others, right? He pondered it over often at night, staring at the ceiling as he lay in bed. Chanyeol touched him in similar ways, though they never kissed or hugged. He still would let his hand fall against Baekhyun’s back, or hold his hand on occasion when guiding him somewhere.

He would get lost in his thoughts, watching the way Jongin always had his hand on Kyungsoo’s lower back when they walked. He noticed the way Jongdae and Minseok looked at each other with this emotion in their eyes that he hadn’t felt in so goddamn long. It was hard and refreshing to be around all at the same time. He didn’t know how to feel when he would see the way that Kyungsoo softened at the sight of his boyfriend, knowing that his guard would go down the moment Chanyeol walked into the room.

They stayed glued at the hip every day for the next week. Chanyeol would scoop him his food again, walk him to and from meals. They would spend mornings after breakfast up on the roof, sitting in the chairs near his garden even though nothing had been planted yet. They just wanted to be together away from everyone else. They wanted to spend a few moments every day feeling like for once the world around them was completely normal. His time with Chanyeol was the first time he found himself being able to feel that way.

Chanyeol was going to leave soon to scavenge. Baekhyun tried not to think about it more often than necessary. Chanyeol had been out plenty of times, he was one of the best scavengers if not the best in the hospital, he gave Baekhyun no reason to worry. Yet he still did. This was different. This was the furthest they’d ever gone to scavenge, it was uncharted territory, he feared the unknown.

“Baekhyun, what are you thinking about?”

They were laying on the tile floor, Baekhyun’s head laying on Chanyeol’s chest as he stared at the wall beside them. This was the first time they’d ever really done something this physically close. They leaned against each other while sitting up occasionally, and Baekhyun had fallen asleep once with his head on Chanyeol’s shoulders but this was different. Neither had asked to be in this situation, they just ended up like this silently, comfortably.

“I’m afraid for you to leave. You’re going so far…” Chanyeol was leaving in the morning. Maybe that’s why they had found themselves this close. Subconsciously, they were getting more and more upset about being apart.

“Yifan is good at scavenging too, Baek. We’re a good team, we’ll be back before you realize I’m gone.” Chanyeol was trying his best to reassure Baekhyun but it wasn’t working. He would realize Chanyeol was gone the second he walked out of the door. He didn’t plan to admit that out loud.

“If something were to happen to you I would never know, I would never get closure. I’d have to live the rest of my life without any piece of you and I don’t know if I can take that.” Baekhyun was speaking softly, never lifting his head from its place on Chanyeol’s chest. These were emotions he didn’t usually vocalize but he couldn’t stop himself.

There was silence for a while before Chanyeol was moving from underneath him, shifting around to sit up. Baekhyun mimicked his actions, face puzzled. Was Chanyeol upset he had been that forward? Had he said too much?

Chanyeol was working at the chain around his neck, and Baekhyun just sat there staring at him with the same lost look on his face. The taller removed the chain and leaned over, hooking it around Baekhyun’s neck and letting the ring fall onto his chest. Baekhyun felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment. “What are you doing-”

“I want you to have it. If something happens to me I want you to have it to remember me. If nothing happens to me, I still want you to have it. It’s special to me, and so are you.” Chanyeol’s voice was just as soft as his own for once, his words didn’t come out as confidently, but they still felt so genuine and caring. Baekhyun touched the ring, unable to say anything in return.

They fell asleep together on the floor, Baekhyun’s head back on Chanyeol’s chest. The taller’s arm wrapped around his waist to keep him close. If this was the last night they had together, Baekhyun wouldn’t have any regrets.

\---

Chanyeol left as soon as the sun rose. Baekhyun had been half awake when Yifan came in looking for him, he had barely felt the way Chanyeol stroked his cheek, hesitated to pull away from his body. He barely felt it but he doubted he was going to forget it for the rest of his life. It didn’t make his stomach feel sick anymore, instead, he felt warm. He was just going to have to be patient for a week, Chanyeol was going to come back to him and things were going to go right back into normal.

The first night alone Baekhyun had planned to just go to sleep and start his new temporary routine. He did not expect his door to come open and for Kyungsoo and Minseok to be carrying pillows and blankets in without an invitation. He also didn’t mind. He did mind however when he realized that they had planned an entire intervention for him. 

“You’re in love Baekhyun.”

This time he might be sick. He was never good at confrontation, even though these were his friends and they were doing it out of the care of their heart, he still felt lightly attacked. They had sat him down on the floor, questioned the ring around his neck, and now they were doing their very best to convince Baekhyun of his feelings. Part of him felt like they might be right, the other part was too scared to come to terms with it.

“I’m not, Minseok. He’s just my best friend. We just… hang out and that’s it, that's all I want.” Baekhyun’s words couldn’t even convince himself. Deep down he was questioning if that was even the truth or if he had more feelings for Chanyeol than he had come to terms with.

“Are you trying to lead him on?” Kyungsoo always seemed to go for more of the harsher, tough love route. Baekhyun questioned this too. Sure, purposely this was not his intention but was he doing it without even realizing? Chanyeol had acknowledged where Baekhyun’s comfort point ended and had never asked him for anything more. Everything they did was mutual and slow and consensual. But did Chanyeol want more than he was asking for? More than Baekhyun was giving him? Did Baekhyun want the same?

He wanted to rest. That had been his initial plan before he had been bombarded like this. He wanted to tell his friends that he was tired, that he didn’t want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. But the way his mind started to question his intentions… he needed answers too.

“I’m not trying to… I spent so long sure that I was going to love Jinho and only Jinho for the rest of my life.” He managed to stutter the sentence out.

“Baekhyun he’s been gone for nearing two years now. It’s okay to let him go.” Minseok spoke this time, and Kyungsoo nodded in agreement. They both stared at him with sympathy and he hated it, but he knew they meant good. He was stuck on someone who had been dead for almost two years. And here was this man who cared so much for him.

“Baekhyun, what does Chanyeol mean to you?” Kyungsoo had changed his tone some. Baekhyun wondered if it was the pity.

“Chanyeol means more to me than anyone else.” He answered, not missing a beat to admit it. That was something that he was genuinely sure of. “I would do anything for him.”

“And what did Jinho mean to you?”

He remained quiet. The answers were the same, he knew it, they knew it. It didn’t need to be vocalized to be answered. His silence was more than enough. He felt the same fucking way for Chanyeol as he had for Jinho and he knew it. Deep down he had known it for a while but it was still terrifying.

“I don’t know what to do.” His voice sounded desperate, weak. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way or what if he gets upset that I’ve taken this long to say anything. I don’t want him to feel like I was leading him on. I wasn’t trying to.”

“He knows that.” Minseok was right. Chanyeol was smart and trusting, some days it seemed like he knew Baekhyun better than Baekhyun knew himself. He wouldn’t ever assume that Baekhyun had some intention of leading him on. The fear still settled in the back of his mind.

“Do you think I should confess?”

“Yes.” Both men answered him at the same time.

“Maybe when he comes back I… I’ll think about it while he’s gone, okay?” At this point even though he was scared, Baekhyun just wanted the confrontation to be over. He wanted time to just lay in bed and process his own emotions. He couldn’t even be completely sure about how he felt yet. “I already miss him.”

He spent the rest of the night wide awake in bed, Chanyeol clouding his mind in different ways than he was used to. He imagined when it would feel like to be held by him, to kiss him. The butterflies in his stomach had come alive and he felt like a teenager again, daydreaming about his first crush. Except for this time it featured the fear of him dying a slow painful bloody death, but that was the world they lived in.

He only had to wait 6 days and Chanyeol would be home.


	6. Chapter Six

The six days of Chanyeol and Yifan’s scavenging trip had been the longest six days of Baekhyun’s entire time at the hospital, if not his life. It had only taken him two days to decide that yes, he did want to confess to Chanyeol. As soon as he had come to terms with his feelings he didn’t know if he would be able to handle keeping them in for any longer.

He was scared but at the same time, he couldn’t picture a world where Chanyeol wasn’t with him. Every night he laid in bed and felt along the ring that hung from his neck, picturing what it would be like when Chanyeol came back. He wondered if they would embrace each other if he should confess right then and there. If he was going to be able to hold himself back from saying it until they were able to have a private moment.

His friends did their best to distract him. He didn’t tell anyone about his garden yet, he liked that to be the secret place he could go and sit and just get away from everyone except for his thoughts. There had been a long point in time where Baekhyun hated to just sit and think. When the world had gone to shit nothing hurt more than to sit and remember the things that you no longer had beside you.

Thinking about Chanyeol was a completely different experience. It felt liberating, almost like he was dreaming. He thought about the way it felt when their hands touched, how nice Chanyeol’s heartbeat sounded against his ear the night before he left. He wanted to hear it again, wanted to feel Chanyeol’s arm around his waist.

The morning of their return Baekhyun secretly tried to sneak in a quick shower. It wasn’t shower day but he wanted to look and smell nice when Chanyeol saw him again. He knew Chanyeol was going to be scruffy and dirty and tired but it was to be expected. He didn’t care, he just wanted him to be home.

He spent all day sitting in the main floor lobby, doodling on pieces of paper and munching on whatever food his friends brought down for him. He wasn’t sure what time they were supposed to get back, but it was supposed to be today. Dinner passed. The sun began to set and he sat there even as the guards switched, watching as Jongin came down the stairs, shotgun in hand, ready to stand to wait at the gate for trespassers.

“Baekhyun- you should go to sleep it’s almost midnight.” He approached, kneeling beside where Baekhyun was sitting.

He had been crying on and off for a few hours, fear settling in his gut the longer it took for the two tall men to return. He was curled into a small ball in his chair, hugging his knees to his chest and praying silently for them to just hurry up and come home. He couldn’t take waiting for him like this, he had been so scared when Chanyeol left but this was even worse.

“Chanyeol is supposed to be back today they’re probably running a little late I’ll just wait here.” Baekhyun was insistent, eyes glued to the front entrance door as if it was going to be pried open at any minute.

“Baek you know they’re not going to walk at night, it’s too dangerous. They probably got a little delayed and had to stop for the day. I bet they’ll be here tomorrow.” Jongin’s words reassured his worries slightly. He was right, even he and Jongin had refused to walk at night, it was way too dangerous to not see what was coming right in front of you. The lack of street lights and batteries for flashlights made it a risk to travel this late.

He had to toss it over in his head a bit more before he stood up, watching as Jongin stood also. “You go lay down with Kyungsoo if you don’t want to be alone, you know he won’t mind. I’ll take your bed when I’m done with my shift.”

Jongin left to the gate only when Baekhyun had made it into the stairwell. He felt loved by his friends yes, they always went out of their way to take care of him. He could tell they cared for him, they showed it in their different ways. Jongin specifically was protective of Baekhyun, always taking the extra moment to make sure he was okay before doing whatever he needed to do. But it just didn’t match what he was looking forward to feeling all day. The way it was going to feel for Chanyeol to walk in that door and how it would be for their eyes to meet, their bodies pressed together in a warm hug.

He didn’t stop thinking as he made his way to Jongin and Kyungsoo’s room. The bed frame had been taken out and the two small mattresses from a couple of beds had been pushed together on the floor. Kyungsoo was laying on one, and he lifted his head at the sound of the opening door. Baekhyun’s puffy eyes couldn’t totally make him out in the dark room but Kyungsoo seemed to know who it was.

“They’ll show up tomorrow,” Kyungsoo said as Baekhyun climbed onto Jongin’s side of the bed, tugging the blanket over his body. Kyungsoo was back asleep in no time, but Baekhyun found himself staring up blankly, thinking again. He didn’t know what time he managed to fall asleep, but when he woke up in the morning he went straight down to the lobby.

Minseok and Jongdae brought him breakfast and sat with him most of the day, though he didn’t feel like socializing with them much. He let them do most of the talking while he just sat and listened. He couldn’t take his eyes off the door. Minseok and Jongdae walked him back to his bedroom at night, both sleeping on the floor near Baekhyun’s bed as he cried himself to sleep.

Sleeping and crying were all he did the more the days passed.

A couple of days late turned into a week late, which turned into three weeks. Baekhyun rarely saw the outside of his room. His friends would come, he seldom slept without one of his four friends sleeping in the room with him. His room looked pretty similar to Kyungsoo’s now, two mattresses pressed together on the floor. He appreciated the gesture, though it didn’t make him feel much better. Nothing was going to fix this hole in his heart, he was sure of it.

He tried his best to eat, picking at the food that they brought up to him. Some days they could get him to sit out at the nurses’ station for an hour or so before he ended up hiding back in his room again. He wanted to feel happy again, and he knew his friends were trying to give that to him. They were trying so hard to make him feel less alone and he tried to be accepting and appreciative of their advantages. But he still found himself crying into his pillow at night, wishing that it was Chanyeol laying beside him.

It was a month when he had to sit himself down and try his best to realize that Chanyeol really may never come back. He couldn’t bring himself to decide that he was dead. But they were only supposed to be gone for six days and now it had been just over 30. Kyungsoo entered his room just as Baekhyun had burst into another round of tears. He felt embarrassed, pathetic that his friends had to see him like this.

“I’m going to go wash my dirty laundry I just wanted to see if you had anything I could take down to wash,” Kyungsoo said, looking around the room.

“I’ve been wearing this shirt a couple of days…” Baekhyun sits up, tugging the shirt over his head and taking in a sharp breath when the cold metal of Chanyeol’s ring hit his chest. 

Kyungsoo froze, unsure how Baekhyun was going to react to the sudden reminder of the gift, still waiting for him to hand over the shirt. Baekhyun was too distracted now to be worried about that though.

His fingers traced the ring before he flung his legs over the side of the bed, opening the drawer to his bedside table. He stared into the empty drawer for a moment before slipping the finger off his left ring, placing it gently inside and shutting the drawer. He reaches up and struggles with the chain for a while before getting it off of his neck, letting the ring slide off and staring at it for a moment before slipping it onto his left ring finger. He felt his tears coming back as he looked at it and he didn’t even notice how Kyungsoo silently took his shirt from the bed and left, tears filling his own eyes.

Chanyeol being gone wasn’t only something Baekhyun was dealing with, and he knew it. He just wished it didn’t have to be this way. As he lay back on the bed and stared at his hand, he just wished things could have been different.

\---

It had been a month and almost two weeks. Baekhyun was drained, his cheeks hollowed out from lack of food, though he tried to eat whenever he could. He had gotten back into his nervous habit of rubbing the ring on his finger whenever his thoughts became too much to handle. He still couldn’t sleep alone, and he felt guilty but nobody had ever complained about needing to be with him overnight.

It was late, after midnight, he was sure, and he was staring at the wall, deep in thought when he heard a loud noise, making him shoot straight up in bed, Minseok right beside him doing the same thing.

“What the fuck-” They spoke simultaneously, freezing when they heard it again. It was loud and slightly unfamiliar but Baekhyun recognized it first.

“Is that a car horn?” He pulled his socks on before standing up on the cold tile, leaning over the mattresses to peek out of the bedroom window. His view was over the front of the hospital. He had spent many days staring out, waiting for something that never came. This, however, was different. What he saw terrified him.

The scarier part wasn’t the military Jeep stopped at the front gate no, what was even scarier was all of the infected surrounding it, banging on its doors from all sides. Minseok was already grabbing his gun and running out of the room before Baekhyun’s brain could process what he was saying. He reached for his pistol, opening his bedroom door and following multiple others down the stairwell and towards the front door. There were already sounds of gunshots, the front gate opened, the jeep rolling in.

It was dark outside but the Jeep’s headlight illuminated most of the area. Infected were turning from the Jeep now towards those who were shooting at them. The gate closed so more couldn’t get in, and everyone who had a gun was targeting the zombies surrounding them. The infected were outnumbered but they were so fast, so terrifying. Baekhyun didn’t even hear the one coming up from behind him until he had a bullet whizzing right past his head. He screamed, falling to the floor before coming to terms with what had just happened, turning around to see the infected on the floor.

He turned back, Jongin standing in front of him, a hand offered out to help him up from the ground. “Thank you… Jongin what the fuck is going on.”

The gunfire had ceased now and everyone’s eyes were focused on the military truck, guns raised. The driver's door swung open and he could feel the tension in the air, everyone's attention on the vehicle as someone climbed out.

Baekhyun’s legs felt like they would give out from under him, yet they still carried him forward. His eyesight was blurred with tears and it felt like everything going on around him had frozen him. He didn’t stop moving until he was pressing into a strong chest, arms coming around his waist as he sobbed, he was lifted and he could feel himself being spun around.

“Chanyeol-” He sobbed, refusing to let go even as the other tried to pull away to look at him. He couldn’t stop his tears, his whole body shaking with the force of each cry. He couldn’t care to pay attention to anything else, fists pounding into the taller male’s chest. Chanyeol didn’t dare to let him go, yelling towards the others that Yifan needed to be helped out of the car. Baekhyun wanted to look, he wanted to know what was going on but he couldn’t move, his body was too afraid to pull away.

“Baekhyun I’m so sorry I promise I will explain everything.” Chanyeol held him tighter, noticing the way his knees started to buckle. He was suddenly lifted from the ground again, this time his body was laying across Chanyeol’s arms in a bridal fashion, finally letting himself stare up. Chanyeol had grown some facial hair, the hair atop his head was long and shaggy. He looked handsome no matter what.

Chanyeol carried him into the building, ignoring anyone else who tried to talk to him. They were silent even as they entered Baekhyun’s room. Chanyeol didn’t question the new layout, just lowers down so he could place Baekhyun on the mattress and sit beside him, hugging him close as soon as they were both settled in.

“Yifan got bit on our last day. He had gone out at night because we heard a noise and they bit his hand and I had to amputate…” Chanyeol starts. Baekhyun isn’t looking at him but his face is twisting at disgust as he pictures the situation. “I didn’t even know if that was going to save him. I had to fight him and lock him into the basement of the house we were camping out in. I had to keep him in there for a few days just to make sure. Even once I was sure I wasn’t going to let him travel until his arm was healed up better. We were walking back when we saw the Jeep… the patrol driving it must have been infected and left it there. Yifan used to be a mechanic and he talked me through how to hotwire it.”

Baekhyun was silent. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He had just spent so long trying to come to terms with the fact that he would Never see Chanyeol again and now here they were, pressing close to each other, a tangle of limbs on the mattress. For the first time in a while, he looked up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. They stared at each other in silence, Baekhyun’s hand coming up to gently caress Chanyeol’s scruffy jaw, eyes dropping to his lips before closing completely, leaning forward until he felt chapped lips pressing to his own.

It wasn’t the first kiss with Chanyeol that he had been dreaming of, but it as more than he could have ever asked for. Chanyeol kissed him back just as tenderly, cupping Baekhyun’s face in both hands, head tilting to the side to deepen the kiss just a bit more and Baekhyun reciprocated. They kissed until there was no oxygen left between them. They pulled away and kissed again, and again. They kissed until they were too tired to keep their eyes open, drifting to the best sleep either of them had in over a month.

  
  



End file.
